First Day

Smiling big with the first day under her belt.

My big girl went to Kindergarten today. I can hardly take it in. Last night as she picked out her first day outfit, she announced she needed something that would make her look like a first grader. Because Mom there's the book First Day of School, Cool! and the duck in the book is going into first grade not Kindergarten, so she's big. And I want to be big, too. I want to look like her. I've got to be first-day-of-school-cool! Get it? Got it. So after gently steering her away from an old T-shirt, skirt, and Angry Birds sticker from the doctor's office, she found something she liked. We stuck with the skirt and added a different shirt and saved Angry Birds for another day.  She wore her hair down like a big kid.

She was big girl brave all the way to her classroom door where she froze in place, worried about where to stash her backpack. We found her hook inside the room, her teacher found her, and she found her bud C. and all was well with the world. I waved goodbye with a cheery smile that I hoped hid the choke in my throat.

At Convocation I watched my little girl walk into the gym in a straight line with her classmates--a little shy, a little unsure, but content to be where she was.  A couple of her babysitters came to greet her, our old neighbor (also a teacher) sat down and gave me the thumbs up and smiled big at Emelyn, Daddy came and took a few pictures. Then the ceremony began--where we affirmed our desire to build community together--to be humble; to let our actions speak louder than our words; and to pursue our diverse, God-given gifts.  As I listened to the keynote speaker, I remembered the way she organized a massive task force when Mark had cancer, the way she mobilized hundreds of people to help, to pray, and to encourage.  I remembered the way she even drove twenty minutes to our house on a Saturday morning just to give Mark a shot he needed, because he wanted a real doctor to do it instead of his shaky wife.

I smiled to see two of my former high school students taking ranks with their former teachers, beginning the first year of their own teaching careers. They might teach Emelyn someday, I thought. They stood where I once did, looking confident and nervous all at once.

I got a little choked up when the seniors stood up and turned to face the Kindergartners while they were given a commission to be leaders in the school. And I saw how those Kindergartners looked on with awe at these big kids who share space in the same building with them.

It was all so good, so right.  I left feeling confident that this new phase of life was good. That it was right for Emelyn to be where she was, still near me but independent and stepping out on her own as well.  And when I walked out those doors this morning, I left her in not just one set of hands, but many. So many people to love and nurture and encourage her along her way.

When she got home she was still our Emelyn but bouncier. She grabbed a snack and after helping to make a going away present for our wonderful babysitter who is heading back to college, headed for her books.  She wove stories in the quiet space of our living room.  Not much has changed. Yet.

And on a side note, little sister was oh so big today. She stepped up to her new role as biggest sister in the house with great enthusiasm. She helped during speech therapy teaching Kaleb signs while Ms. Sharon and I chatted about education choices. She cleaned up the playroom without being asked. She loved on her brother and moved alongside him with her tender spirit. Kindergarten will be good for Miss Audyn, too.

Signing off. It's bedtime for the Mama.  She doesn't like rising to an alarm clock. It's not her style.  Neither is getting to school on time.  But she's determined to set a healthy pattern.  11:02 and past her curfew. Good night to all!